A childhood memory...

Alright so today I'm supposed to tell a story from my childhood.

The first memory I can think of that is clear as day would be the time when a rottweiler nearly killed my entire family.  Okay, maybe not my entire family...more like, just my cat, but that's close enough.

Picture this (and no, I'm not making any of this shit up) it was a beautiful day and my friend Jenn and I were outside building forts on my front porch.  We were 9 or 10, I believe.  My neighbor from a few houses down stopped by and asked us if we've seen his dog wandering down the street.  We said no and then immediately went inside to tell my mom because this family had rottweilers. ew. As we were telling my mom about the loose dog my cat Daisy starting making really weird noises...

that's Daisy in the front...isn't she precious?

Anyway, she started making really weird noises while staring out on our back deck.  So, I went to look out the door and there he was. The Rottweiler.  He looked like this...

or something like that...

Then the dog started growling and Daisy got all nervous as did Jenn, my mom and I.

The next thing I knew, this dog -honest to God- barged into our screen door, knocked it flat on the ground and started chasing my friggen cat around the kitchen.  I flipped out, screaming like the little girl I was and booked it into the living  room and up on top the couch.  I grabbed a pillow for safety (obv) in case the beast came after me into the living room.  Obviously I thought I could do some serious damage with a pillow...Have you ever been to a slumber party with a bunch of little girls?  Those pillows can sting a little if you get hit by the right person...  Then, next thing I knew Daisy comes screaming into the living room, tries to climb up the curtains (but she doesn't have front claws so that backfired), then runs as fast as her little paws can carry her, falls down the stairs and hides for hours behind a refrigerator in my basement.  Once Daisy ran out of the living room, I ran back into the kitchen (with that pillow above my head), screaming to scare the dog away.  But by this point, my mom had already grabbed the dog by his collar (my hero) and was heaving him out the door screaming for my dad (who was in the garage this whole time) and told him to get the thing out of here!  

Holy crap, guys.  It was the scariest 27 seconds of my life.  

Needless to say, Daisy who was skiddish before, is now terrified of anything larger than an ant that moves and I carried a broom around with me for a week...

Ugh. Rottweilers are the only dog I absolutely despise.

But look how cute Daisy is...

 poor baby.

The dog, not only broke our door down and bent it so out of shape by crashing his big, fat hideous face into it, he also gouged up our brand-spankin' new hardwood floor.

Oh, and to make up for the inconvenience our neighbors gave us a lousy gift card with some cheap amount on it to a local pub down the road... 

-_-

umm..thanks?

xo